What Matters

“It’s the oldest story in the world. One day you’re 17 and planning for someday. And then quietly and without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.” –Nathan Scott, One Tree Hill

Its only natural to go through hard times and dislike ourselves, the situations, or what has become of things. But then we get to the other side, where things aren’t so bad anymore, and we can find happiness. We can find new hope.

I look back on these first few months of the year and hate just about every part of it. And suddenly, without even noticing, things began to change. Wishes began to come true again, nightmares turned into dreams, and the sun started to shine as bright as ever. In the black of night that is when you can see the stars.

When you start to find yourself again. When you start to hope, trust, and love; that’s when the magic starts. Those little gifts, they lead to the biggest treasures that life has to offer. Against all odds and adversities, wishes will always find a way to come true. You need to give yourself the ability to believe in them and chase them.

Once I faced all my mistakes, that was when I was able to change and begin my journey back to who I really am inside. I am on the bridge between darkness and sunshine. It’s a wobbly bridge. I have to step carefully as I find my balance before I can take off running to the other side. I am rediscovering love, and hope. I am replacing the hurt and pain with trust. These first steps are the hardest and it’s during these times that I need a loving hand to help me balance.

The wishes keep flooding in as I think about what’s on the other side. Those wishes are full of laughter and love. Fun and adventure. Big cities and endless life. A chance to do something big. To do something for someone other than myself.

As I cross this bridge I remember that people always leave. We all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us see the possibilities. Someone to remind us that it won’t always be like this. People come and go from our lives but every once in a while we are graced with someone who fits our life so perfectly. Someone who is still standing by my side despite all the dark odds thrown in our path. When I look up, and take comfort in his presence, I remember why I am still standing with that person too.

So as life moves on, and someday becomes yesterday, I want to do great things. I want to dance in the pouring rain with the man I love. I want to have pillow fights and tickle parties. I want to see the world and eat in exotic locations. I want to be a better version of myself. I want to sit quietly in absolute happiness just because I can. I want to pay it forward and help others believe that against all odds their wishes can come true too. What I do matters. How I do it matters even more.

It’s not easy. Life never really is. But life’s treasures are worth having. And those wishes, they are worth chasing.

Because sometimes you have to step outside the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are. – One Tree Hill