Project Reverb is a way to reflect on the past year and project into the next year with a prompt a day for 31 days. These prompts are meant to be answered in posts on personal blogs, and anyone can join in.
“Surprise” was the prompt from December 9th, so as you can tell I am a bit behind. Truth is that I wasn’t sure I was going to participate or not, but I’ve realized that I can benefit from reflection.
I didn’t grow up with a very close family and we certainly never showed much emotion. From a young age I learned to stay strong, stoic, and not wear my emotions on my sleeve. Somehow or another that is exactly what I had done, until now.
So in 2013, my 28th year on Earth, I was surprised when I suddenly started feeling all sorts of emotions. It wasn’t just happiness or sadness, either. No. It was much more than that. I was feeling highs and lows. Anger and betrayal. Love and compassion. Sorrow and compassion. Forgiveness and appreciation. I could go on and on. Anxiousness and calmness. Panicked and stressed. You get the picture.
This was certainly a year of feelings, and that was a challenging thing for me because admitting my emotions was not something I did easily. I can’t say that its been neither good or bad. It’s been a mix of both. The bad was that I was just overly emotional in ways I had never been before. The good came about as the year progressed and I learned how to deal with my emotions and feelings. It’s certainly been a bright spot in my relationships.
Something unlocked my emotions that had been buried inside me. Maybe I finally reached a certain level of maturity and worldly knowledge. I am not sure. All I know is that I had felt like an emotional zombie for much of my life (not to say I was a monster without feelings), but now that feeling is gone. At 28 years old this has been a weird experience, but a pleasant surprise nonetheless.