#Reverb13: Surprise

Project Reverb is a way to reflect on the past year and project into the next year with a prompt a day for 31 days.  These prompts are meant to be answered in posts on personal blogs, and anyone can join in.

Surprise: What surprised you the most this year?

“Surprise” was the prompt from December 9th, so as you can tell I am a bit behind. Truth is that I wasn’t sure I was going to participate or not, but I’ve realized that I can benefit from reflection.

I didn’t grow up with a very close family and we certainly never showed much emotion. From a young age I learned to stay strong, stoic, and not wear my emotions on my sleeve. Somehow or another that is exactly what I had done, until now.

So in 2013, my 28th year on Earth, I was surprised when I suddenly started feeling all sorts of emotions. It wasn’t just happiness or sadness, either. No. It was much more than that. I was feeling highs and lows. Anger and betrayal. Love and compassion. Sorrow and compassion. Forgiveness and appreciation. I could go on and on. Anxiousness and calmness. Panicked and stressed. You get the picture.

This was certainly a year of feelings, and that was a challenging thing for me because admitting my emotions was not something I did easily. I can’t say that its been neither good or bad. It’s been a mix of both. The bad was that I was just overly emotional in ways I had never been before. The good came about as the year progressed and I learned how to deal with my emotions and feelings. It’s certainly been a bright spot in my relationships. 

Something unlocked my emotions that had been buried inside me. Maybe I finally reached a certain level of maturity and worldly knowledge. I am not sure. All I know is that I had felt like an emotional zombie for much of my life (not to say I was a monster without feelings), but now that feeling is gone. At 28 years old this has been a weird experience, but a pleasant surprise nonetheless. 

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