Yesterday was day 681. 681 days since I met the best guy for me for the very first time.
Yesterday that guy broke up with me. A phone call at 7:15 am that lasted 2 hours. The stresses of his internship at Disney and finding a balance for everything in this new chapter of his life has taken its toll on us. We’ve done some damage but he came to the conclusion that he needs a break. He needs space. And he needs time. There was nothing mutual about this decision. Thankfully, there is still a lot of love on both sides and the door is not closed. However, there are a lot of details that I won’t share here.
At 1:30 pm on day 681 I had an appt for a full blood work up to be done. 4-5 tubes of blood needed to be drawn and my veins don’t pop with cooperation. A lack of food and sleep proved to be too much. I threw up in the patient room and then blacked out for several minutes. I wasn’t feeling so well.
Later in the afternoon I couldn’t get my mind to rest so I did what any logical girl would do and go buy some Ben & Jerry’s. I didn’t even want to look at the ice cream when I got home. Ben & Jerry’s doesn’t fix everything.
I opted for a long walk instead. Jean, tee-shirt, and flip-flops. Walk, think, and cry it out was my plan. About a mile and a half away from the house the skies opened up on me. In the pouring rain I sloshed my way back home. Ironic, really.
Throughout the evening of day 681, I talked with friends and shed many tears.There is a lot of stuff (feelings) that I may never share on the blog. Or even with close friends, but it’s nice to know I have the option.
11 pm on day 681, Alex was in a car accident. His mom called me at 8 am this morning to fill me in. Then I called him. He was hit on the front/corner/drivers side. And while he says he is ok, the car might not be so lucky. Life, and our relationship flashed before my eyes. I also has a moment of deja vu. Seven years ago I broke up with a boy who was rather messed up and I couldn’t save him. You can read part of that story HERE. Not long after he was killed in a car accident. Different people and circumstances, but same heart wrenching feeling.
One thing is for sure, Day 681 was a rough and emotional one for the both of us. But it solidified that love is worth fighting for and reminded me how fragile life is. I thought I was committed before, but I’m more committed now. There aren’t enough words, or the right ones, for me to articulate my feelings.
To those that already knew of the situation, thank you for your love and support.
I pray for our love. I pray for Alex. I pray myself. I pray for healthiness.
I pray for strength and guidance.