Dear Alex

This was originally written on October 26th, 2012, shortly after Alex accepted an offer to be part of the Disney College Internship Program. I don’t know why I never hit publish, but it’s been sitting as a draft since that day. Today, March 13th, 2013, I was sorting through some posts and stumbled it once again and I felt compelled to finally hit publish. I did not edit or change any part. It remains as true and honest as it did all those months ago, just like my love.

 

My dearest Alex,

Often times it is easier to share what is in my heart on the screen of my blog than in person. Quite honestly, I am not sure I’ve ever said everything I needed or wanted. I try, but sometimes the words just aren’t easy to come by.

First I need to tell you that I am beyond proud of you. You pushed ahead with your dream even when I didn’t. I know that took strength and courage, two traits I don’t always have.

I also need you to know that I am over joyed for you and your future. You have the opportunity of a lifetime and no matter how selfish I am, I could never ask you to give up on this dream. Our dreams become reality when we work together and stick together.

The last few day’s have been the hardest days I’ve had in a long time. I am a bottle of emotion and bucket of tears. My only hope is that I can show you how much love, support, and encouragement you have given to me over the last year by giving it all back to you now. This is your time to shine and I can’t wait to see you through it.

I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be
But you stay here right beside me
And watch as the storm blows through
And I need you

My favorite part of us is that we talk, about everything and anything. Even when the odds are against us we talk, make a plan, stick together, and find a way to persevere.  Just talking to you lifts me up, even when I am at my lowest and weakest.

I’ve never felt the love and raw emotion as I feel when I am with you. I cherish the uniqueness of our love and the unbreakable bond we share. We may walk on opposite sides of the track sometimes, but all that matters is being hand in hand with you. We always find our happy medium again. I love you unlike I’ve loved anyone else. I am a very blessed girl to share my life with you. I am eternally thankful.

There’s more here than what we’re seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
And I’ll be the flattered fool
And I need you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

We will plan the next 3 months to be just like the last 15 months. 6 months of an internship is just a fragment of time. We have a lifetime of plans to make that know no bounds. Our dreams, just like the one you are about to embark on, are within our reach. I am your biggest fan. I’ll always be there for you and we’ll have each other too.

For the rest of my life I want to hold your hand every chance I get, capturing each special moment we share, laughing so hard we cry, going to bed with love in our hearts, and dancing in the rain at Disney while everyone else runs for cover.

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

It’s not going to be easy but things worth having aren’t easy. In fact, it’s probably going to be really hard. I am working at it every day. We’re going to have to work at it too. But I want to do that because I want you. I want us. I want the faults, the flaws, the perfection, the love. I want all of you. All of us. To me, it’s worth it all.

There will always be a new season of change and this new season of our life scares me. It’s unpredictable and out of my control. I don’t know what’s at the other end of the next few months or the upcoming year, but I know we’ll be there together. I am honored to share my life with you and be the one standing by your side.

I do cherish you for everything you are and everything we are together. For as long as I live, I never want you to question my love. It’s always there. Always true.

You are it, Alex Jackson. I love you! 333

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