Fit to Fat Jeans

A few days removed from my last post, this post is about that emotional moment I mentioned.

Two months ago I “Talked About Clothes” – accepting my current size and finding clothes to fit and flatter my current figure. All while trying to work on achieving a new (healthier) figure.

Sunday morning I had the sudden urge to clean out and re-do my closet. I started with my dresser and went drawer by drawer making three piles: Keep, donate, and trash. My dresser was packed to the brim I had so much clothes. It certainly felt good to lighten the load.

I moved on to my closet which was full of jeans, skirts, dresses, and other miscellaneous work clothes. I reached into the back corner of my closet, you know the one where clothes you haven’t work in FOR.EVER end up, and pulled out some jeans. It’s been at least 3 years since those jeans had seen the light of day.

Amused by the size of these jeans, I laid a pair on top of my current jeans. I wasn’t amused anymore. I snapped a picture and sent it to Alex saying “What I used to wear on top of what I currently wear.”


I went back to the project at hand, finished what I was doing, and then went about my day like normal. Never giving a second thought to those jeans.

Later that same night I was boxing up clothes to get donated, and putting the others in trash bags. That’s when it hit me. I sat on my bed, tears streaming down my face uncontrollably, and years of unhealthy choices glared from the piles of clothes. I felt like a failure and it was heart wrenching. Seeing my transition from Fit to Fat  in clothes was not appealing, but it was necessary.

I’ve written a lot of posts saying “this is the moment that I will change” or “this is the reason I will change”, and even “it starts now”. I am not going to say that anymore.

I’ve made a lot of significant changes that I should not discredit like the Tower of Terror 10 Miler  (hey, 7 miles is better than nothing!) and starting the Whole30 challenge.

The jeans don’t define me. They won’t define me.

I’ll leave y’all (and myself) with a quote from one of my favorite men.

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” ~ Walt Disney

What are you going to begin doing today?


5 thoughts on “Fit to Fat Jeans

  1. cathy

    You can do anything you want to do. Sometimes it starts out with small steps and then you start to realize what an impact these small steps have had on you. I am here for you. You have the strenghth and you are beautiful!


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