Let’s Talk About Clothing

For me, a huge part of weight gain/weight loss is how I feel and fit in my clothes.

Through this year I have gained back about 20 pounds that I had lost, and lately I have found myself in a constant state of maintenance. To say that I don’t like how I feel, or look, in my clothes would be an understatement. Unfortunately the feelings of dislike are not something that is new to me in this particular area. I’ve been unhappy with the fit of my clothes for a long time and it didn’t happen over night.

Let me explain. In high school I was comfortable in sizes medium and large, depending on the brands. Once I was out of high school and into the real world my weight started to change but my clothing did not. I was pouring every extra pound I gained into the clothes I used to fit so comfortably in. Initially, this wasn’t a problem but as my weight continued it’s gradual climb I had to face the realization that my clothes were now too small.

Today, 9 years removed from high school and still battling my weight, the majority of clothes in my closet are still to small. They are not the same sizes as they were back then, but they still don’t accurately reflect my current size. I hate opening my closet and not finding a thing I want to wear, or can even feel beautiful in.

Recently, I shed a whole new light on this situation. I was at work pushing new fall arrivals out to the floor when I came across a really cute dress for the woman’s section. I took a size 1 (I find woman’s sizing to be intriguing, maybe it’s just me. Anyways, this size 1 was for a 16-18.) and put it to the side. Later I tried it on and I was amazed at how different I felt. I was wearing a dress that fit me, and I felt pretty! Alex said I look beautiful, as always – yeah, he is a keeper.

For years and years I refused to accept how my body had changed from my high school days. I think I can call that denial. During that time I only made myself more uncomfortable and unhappy. Part of me wants to think that this vicious cycle also resulted in some (not all) weight gain. How many times did I try something on in a department store, have it not fit, and then walk down to the food court for a “pick me up treat”? Let that simmer for a moment…

The point is, this summer I’ve tried to accept who I have become – body and all. I have learned to properly dress myself and clothing and sizes that are complementary to me. Wouldn’t you know that can make all the difference in the world?

It was never a matter of “lose 5 or 10 pounds and those jeans will fit again”. No, it’s more like those jeans are a size 14 and I am a size 18 – it just doesn’t work. I had to accept the real size of my body, and now that I have I actually love myself a little bit more. And for now that I enough to workout harder and eat a little better.

To wrap this up let me say this: My healthiness journey is far from over, but feeling good (beautiful) in my own clothing is a battle all of its own. Feeling confident when I walk out the door, instead of like a stuffed sausage, is one step closer to a new milestone on this journey.


5 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Clothing

  1. Lynsey

    I wish I could get to where you are. I sold all of my clothes as they got too big because “I wasn’t going back to that ever”. I had about 7 pairs of jeans in my rotation that I felt amazing in just a few months ago and then went and gained about 20lbs back and now I’m down to 2 I can squeeze into and feel like a tube of biscuits all day. On one hand I’m longing for sweatshirt weather so I don’t feel so insecure but on the other I know I just need to drop the 20 pounds or more so I can fit into them all and feel comfortable with myself. I hated me at my weight 20 or 25 pounds ago too so gaining it back was a great lesson. I long to be back there and am even thinking about making it my goal because I realize now just how happy I actually was there. Sorry for rambling and possibly making no sense. Glad you are feeling good where you are and I’m jealous. Wish I could do something to make myself happy again!

    1. Sabrina Post author

      I can see/understand why you got rid of all your bigger clothes. I probably would have done the same. You’ll figure it out and get back where you want to be.

      The truth is that even 20 pound is ago (last year) I had to push, squeeze, and force myself into most of my clothes. I have no intention to stay my current weight because I am unhappy with it. However, while my weight may be a work in progress, I can still control how I feel in the clothes I wear. Coming to terms with the sizes was a weight off my shoulder and I still have smaller clothes for when the time comes. Actually feeling GOOD in my clothes is something I haven’t felt in a long time.

  2. makingovermerbear

    Sabrina, you totally have the right idea. If we dislike anything about ourselves…that is *not* a motivator, no matter how disgusted we might be. But, if we have a positive outlook on life, on ourselves and for weight loss…our body image…that can do wonders. I’m impressed that you made the change, admitted what was going on, and picked out some new clothes that fit you well. Bonus, you got some new clothes! This will help immensely, it helped me in the past…feeling good is *so* important!

    1. Sabrina Post author

      The one thing I was scared of was justifying that its okay to keep buying bigger clothes. These clothes are my now, not my future. I have to stay focused and not get comfortable.

  3. Pingback: Fit to Fat Jeans |

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