And I Am Back!

… maybe.

It’s been over a month since I last blogged and I am totally ok with that.

At one point I remember opening up my blog and thinking “How ridiculous is this?”. I wasn’t  thinking about the act of blogging, but how I was trying to utilize blogging.

My thought was:

Blogging was going to make me help me lose weight.

Blogging was also going to train me for a 10 mile race.

I had a bad case of “if I write it, it will happen” flu.

I remember looking at my Miles to Disney tab and I became very disappointed in myself. Everything that page represented and everything I failed to do with it brought an awkward amount of clarity. It was the first time that I really understood that blogging is just a way for me to share my story with the world and maybe gain a little accountability along the way. By partaking in the act of blogging I would NOT miraculously lose weight, be a well trained runner, or be unraveled in my healthiness journey.

In one of my last posts I wrote
”I don’t want to write because I can. I want to write because I am doing something.
I want to write because I am active, healthy, learning, and living.”

I still believe in that statement, and I have since learned that I am my own accountability. I hate to say this by I was living in a blog fantasy land. And in that land my blog had magical powers. Unfortunately, in reality those magical powers do not exist.

You heard it here first, folks! I am still over weight, I still make the wrong food choices, and I am still a slow runner! And guess what? That all falls on me, not my poor little blog!

I have some updates that I will be posting soon enough, but for now I wanted you to know that I am alive, kicking, struggling with my healthiness, but I am learning along the way.

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One thought on “And I Am Back!

  1. Bella

    I thought I’d left you a comment, but then your post popped up in my reader and I saw that I hadn’t written it.

    I’m right there with you in terms of the struggles. I do think there’s some merit to “if I write it, it will happen,” but I have also come to realize that it can be a double-edged sword. Because “it” doesn’t happen by magic just from typing the keys to form the words, and if “it”doesn’t happen, then I find myself making excuses in blog posts, which is boring for readers (and for me). So lately I’m toying with the school of thought of, “do it, then blog it.”

    We can get through this, and if nothing else, I’ve found that blogging about the struggles I’m having helps me get my feelings out. Plus, I get lots of great support that way, too.

    Reply

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