At the conclusion of this week I will have missed 19 weeks of training for the Tower of Terror 10 race on September 29th. That is 13 weeks from this Saturday.
Meaning that at the start of next week, July 1st, I will have only 12 weeks left of training time.
The longest distance I have recorded this year is 4 miles at a 16 minute pace.
This is a huge part of why I Have Not Written about anything weight or running related.
Running 10 miles may have seemed scary back when I registered, but now it seems downright impossible.
All the excitement I felt has slowly faded. The need to run more than 3 miles at a time has gone away. The confidence I once had in myself is no more. And I did that by not running. I have done a huge disservice to myself, but I won’t know how huge until race night.
How does 19 weeks even go by without running? Let me be the first to tell you that it has flown by. I had to count the weeks on my calendar and then RE-count them just to make sure. Golly, 19 weeks. So much could be different right now.
I always do this. It’s a cycle.
Do really well for a while. (9 weeks or so)
Then fall off completely. (In this case it’s been 19 weeks)
Look back wondering how things could/should be different.
Then slowly pick up where I left off.
I am not sure how I bounce back from a 19 week loss but quitting is not an option because I am not the only one involved.
Alex is in this too. He registered, paid, and started training but then he fell off too. In this case we are both accountable for one another. I let him down. We let each other down. Alex’s sweet parents have time and money vested in us too. They took the Thursday and Friday before race day off from work, booked (paid for) a family suite at one of the host hotels at Disney, purchased us a Disney dining plan so we don’t have to worry about buying food all weekend, and have booked a stay for their family dog (Peanut) at the Disney Pet Resort for the weekend.
Logistically, everything has been worked out, paid for, and secured. All I (we) have to do is hold up my (our) end of the deal get back to running.
It sort of burns my bubble that I let all time and training get away from me. This isn’t a run of the mill race with runners and walkers. This is a huge Disney race with some elite athletes. I should have taken it more seriously. I should never have given up so easily. Running is not something that comes to me with ease. I have to work very hard at it and 19 weeks are very valuable, especially to me.
This will be the end of my rant. Looking back isn’t going to help me now. All I can do is keep moving running towards race day.