Although I left the doors of work over 5 hours ago, its still on my mind.
Actually, all that’s on my mind is how unhappy I am about my job. While I am at work I count the hours until quitting time. While not at work I savor each minute away from there. I’ve even gone as far as taking a sick day when I wasn’t really sick.
Lackluster: lacking in vitality, force, or conviction; uninspired.
Yes. That describes it.
I am certain the root of my problem starts with the fact that I don’t LOVE my job. I like what I do, but just selling clothes isn’t enough for me. The creativity stops when I finishing putting together an outfit for a customer. It’s just not fulfilling and I go home at the end of the day feeling empty.
I have felt different in past jobs. I have felt like I was really doing a service to others, or, at the very least, like I was growing as a person. Now, I just feel stuck. I hate to say this but, it’s a depressing feeling. I want more. I need more. I want to be inspired and inspire others.
Of course, some of my co-workers don’t help the situation either. When they have been there as long as I have been alive (Read: 26 years), they aren’t exactly open to change. It’s frustrating and often times I feel like I am their mom always cleaning up after them. I’ve tried to resist the need to fix their messes but I am such an organized perfectionist when it comes to work that I can’t turn a blind eye. Frustrating.
So if you don’t like something, if you aren’t happy, if you need more in your life – change it! Right?
I am working on that. I have some applications out and an updated resume in the works. I might be asking for too much here but ideally I want something that’s fun, entertaining, creative and that leaves me wanting more.
Good thing I still have my blog!
Two things could be happening here.
- You are bored with my posts and I am annoying you. Or…
- You are loving my posts and the frequency of my blogging.
I truly hope it’s the latter because here is where I feel like I am really doing something for myself. But I also hope that I am doing something for someone else too.