When you live with other people sometimes your things become their things. More crucially, your food becomes their food. I don’t share well with others, so I don’t take to this very lightly.
Over the weekend my dears friends parents went to visit him. This trip always includes a stop at a local cupcake shop. Most importantly, it always results in one cupcake getting hand delivered to me upon their return.
That cupcake has sat in my kitchen since Sunday night. Today (Tuesday), I had a really tough day at work. All day I dreamt of indulging with that cupcake. At one point I had a conversation via text with my boyfriend that went something like this:
Sabrina: I am really upset. I want chocolate. I want to punch someone in the face. I also want to go eat a lot of yummy food… Panera, Buffalo Wild Wings, and Grills. Then I am sure I will still want to punch someone in the face. And for dessert, CHEESECAKE!
Alex: What’s wrong? What happened? Go get a small piece of chocolate if you must, but punching someone and eating away your pain won’t make you feel any better. You shouldn’t do that.
Sabrina: But I can.
Alex: Yes, you could. But no, you shouldn’t.
Sabrina: UGH! Fine! I’ll just enjoy my cupcake when I get home tonight.
Oh yes, I wanted to eat and eat and eat. My voice of reason (Alex) wouldn’t let me. And so I didn’t. I toughed out the last two hours at work. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t eager to get home just so I could dive face first into that cupcake.
I got home shortly after 6pm. I gave myself a chance to unwind, eat dinner and relax a for a bit. 8pm rolls around and I WANTED to eat my cupcake but a strange thing happened! IT WAS GONE! Dude, where’s my cupcake?!?! I was feeling that rage build again.
I searched the kitchen and questioned everyone in the house, including my dog. No one had an answer for me. Seriously?!?
I needed that darn cupcake! It was going to fix my issues at work, calm me down, and relax me before bed. I was counting on that small large, frosting covered cupcake! It was the remedy for the days problems.
I sprinted back to room, grabbed my cell phone and texted Alex exclaiming how horrible the world is today. He didn’t understand my issue so I had to back up and explain the details of my missing cupcake. He still didn’t understand. I didn’t understand how he couldn’t understand. He offered me alternatives and really tried to make me feel better, but it was a loss cause. I told him I was going to blog then head to bed, and that’s when I had a “moment”!
Why is food so powerful over me? Why did I think I needed all that food to fix my tough work day? Why did I need that cupcake to be my hero of the day? Is it really so bad that someone else ate a cupcake probably worth 400+ calories?
This leads me to my Be Thankful of the day. Today I am thankful for the person who ate my cupcake. I didn’t know it at the time, but you did me a favor. Thanks to you I saw myself in a new way because I couldn’t have the food I “wanted and needed” so badly. I saw the person who uses food as a crutch, a Band-Aid, and as a best friend. I saw a person I don’t need to be. Thanks to you I know I am stronger than any strength a cupcake could ever give me. Thanks to you I am staying within my calorie range and going to bed with just a glass of milk. Thanks to you I realized I am completely satisfied without that cupcake.
Thank you mystery cupcake eater!