Truth Hurts

The past few days have been filled with shopping trips, a hair appointment, and coffee dates. I have felt like a million bucks! Pretty Woman, if you will.

Today’s blog won’t be filled with pictures or fun shopping stories.

Today’s blog will be heart wrenching, tearful, and hard for me to articulate.

This morning I learned the real truth.

This morning I had a regular appointment with my Doctor. Her and I go way back, at least 15 years. Sitting in the waiting room I knew this was not going to be a fun visit; I just had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I also knew it was my fault and whatever happened back in that exam room was going to be because of my own doing.

I started this blog back in August of 2010. Six months ago I set out with the best of intentions to lose weigh and change my life for the better. For the last six months I have been a yo-yo-er. Not much has changed, not much has gotten better. Laziness speaks for itself.

Back in that exam room laziness was a reason the scale read 189.8. Laziness was a reason that my BMI is 34.8 and I am morbidly overweight. It was a reason why I got a hard lecture and a lot of tough love.

I am guaranteeing myself a short and unhappy life. Unhealthy is no longer an option.

The numbers I saw today will no long define me, they will motivate me.

Do you know how much fat comes with 189.8 pounds and a 34.8 BMI?

I didn’t really understand until she rolled it in on a cart.

I can not remember the last time I cried like this, and I definitely can not remember the last time I cried like that in front of another person.

She knows about my blog and my attempts at a food journal. She really wanted me to get the Diet Minder Food & Fitness Journal. Good for me that I picked one up yesterday because the one I created was much to big for me to carry everywhere. I was told to keep that with me at all times. I am no longer allowed to be lazy.

We talked about food and exercise. We talked about short term and long term goals.

Laziness is no longer an option.

Food goal: 3 servings of fruit and 3 servings of veggies. Everyday.
She also gave my calorie goals. Start at 1600 and work my way down to no more than 1300 per day.

Exercise goal: 40 minutes of cardio. 4 times per week.

Long term weight goal: 135 pounds and a BMI of 25 or less.

Long term fitness goal: Run the Disney Princess Half Marathon next year.

I am reaching out for help. I need accountability. I am the only one who can make the change, but I can’t do this alone. And I know I am not the first or only person to struggle.

If you are on Twitter you can tweet me @Sabrina_Alex

You can email me, it’s listed under the Contact Me page.

Have you had a moment where you realized enough was enough? Did you hit the end of your rope? What was that moment and how did it change you?  

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24 thoughts on “Truth Hurts

  1. dawn

    i had been talking (to anyone who would listen) about how i needed to lose weight for a few YEARS when one day i thought 'you know, what am i doing? i can do ANYTHING i put my mind to so why am i not putting my mind to losing this extra weight?' that was all it took! 🙂 i really believe that i can do anything i put my mind to.

    Reply
  2. Baby Weight and Beyond

    I keep thinking I have gotten there with pictures but I am still struggling myself. I seem to have gotten myself back on track and I want to stay there. You can do this – you can accomplish anything you want!

    Reply
  3. Leanne

    You can do it! As long as your WHY is big enough. You can totally do this. Yay for you. Yay, yay, yay for having such great goals. You can do this one step and one day at a time. You are more powerful that you realise. You go girl …

    Reply
  4. Adalita

    You can do it! All it takes is willpower and determination. You will get there don't give up! You can check out my blog for my story and inspiration. 74kg down to 53.6kg only 3kg to go to get to my goal again!
    Good Luck!

    Reply
  5. Michelle

    you can do it! I need to do it too and lose these 20lbs that I have gained over the past 2 years from my lowest weight. when Iget back from Mexico, wanna be email buddies? We can email at the end of the day or twitter or whatnot and just let each other know how we did with food, what struggles we had, etc. Just a thought 🙂 let me know.

    Reply
  6. Jon, Sara, Tyler, and Sophie

    Way to go, Sabrina. You are already doing this and you will only become stronger on this journey. Just think – today you took some difficult moments and turned them into positives. You have refound motivation, you did some cardio (I read your MFP), and you didn't turn to bad habits to deal with a stressful morning. Keep up the good work!

    Reply
  7. Kristi

    I think sometimes the reality of seeing what we are doing to ourselves is the kick that we need to get ourselves back on track.
    You can do this. We are all here to support you with whatever you need!

    Reply
  8. Kimberly @ Im Not Done

    You can do it! You are going to look back at today as the day you had your break though!

    I love the goals you've set for yourself, especially the half marathon. Signing up for races and following a training plan is what keeps me on track!

    Reply
  9. PlushBelle

    I know today must have been really rough for you. But you managed to leave with lots of helpful knowledge and a positive attitude. We are all here for you and most of us in the same boat. ❤

    Reply
  10. Sarah

    I would of been at my goal weight at least 8 years ago had done something about this instead of just talking. I truly believe half the battle is within you. If you truly are not determined to lose the weight 100% nothing will work. I only say this bc when I look back I don't think I was 100%. I think you got the wake up call you needed though & you will come out where you want to be! I am cheering you on!!

    Reply
  11. Ann

    you are creating yourself into the person yoy want to be, and winning your life back! It's going to be SO much work, but I have all the faith in the world that you will succeed. We love you and support you!!!

    Reply
  12. ❦ RACHELLE ❦

    Hi Sabrina! Just came across your blog and actually sent you an email to share my story with you. Thank you for being so inspirational and open in your blog.

    And I had never heard of the Princess Marathon before….just looked it up and I am SO DOING THAT NEXT YEAR! Seriously! Thanks for such a great idea!

    Now what princess shall I dress up as….. 😉

    Rachelle
    http://the-weights-over.blogspot.com

    Reply
  13. Caroline

    This was something I needed to read today. I was just writing about how I have gone up and down the last few months and that I finally need to change. I am doing this for me and sometimes that is a hard thing to do, something for yourself. I think my moment was when a friend of mine pointed out to me that he didn't think I was doing it for me and that he thought I was only doing things for him and then I realized I wasn't doing it for me. Now I am doing it for me and not for anyone else, I decided I won't let anyone define me except for myself. I can't change for someone else it won't work….but I can change for me and make the best me possible. If you ever need support I am here for you.

    Reply
  14. Life In A Pink Fibro

    You can do it. You've taken all the first steps. You've got a goal. It doesn't matter how many false starts you make – it's all good training for now, when you've made a real start. Good luck!

    Visiting via Fat to Fit. Will watch your progress with interest!

    Reply
  15. daniii♥

    Good luck!! I'm sure you can do it. My rock bottom was when I hit 220lbs. I'm back down to 185 now, but no where near my pre-pregnancy weight. Good luck and feel free to come join in my weekly weigh in on Thursdays!

    Reply
  16. Pingback: Making The Plan: Food | Coffee With Sabrina

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