Failures in Progrss

Today is Wednesday. Which is supposed to be Weigh-In Wednesday. I completely forgot. 
Or maybe it was a subconscious decision because I knew I would be displeased with what I saw. So I stepped on the scale a few moments ago, and sure enough, I didn’t like the results. My weight was up.  
Subconsciously, I knew what a disaster I have been since last Friday night. Subconsciously, I knew I had under minded my previous weeks hard work. A weekend full of bad decisions preceded the last few days of more bad decisions. Subconsciously, I convinced myself that eating this or that would not hurt my progress. Once I get started, I am like a high speed train that is hard to stop. 
This is a common trend with me. It’s why I am on this “road to recovery”. It’s also a big reason why I am trying to lose weight. Once I justify eating something, I honestly believe it’s okay. Looking back to last Friday I know my emotional trigger was the frustration I was feeling with running. That frustration resulted in poor eating over the weekend and it has spilled into this week that is almost half over. AH!

I know I have a problem. Looking back at posts like THIS helps me remember that I have a problem with food! It reminds me that this is hard, I am far from perfect, and I am an emotional eater.

I know I don’t always follow through on exercise plans either. I don’t always have the drive and determination needed to stay on track. Often times I let myself down and I am a failure to myself. I begin to wonder if I am cut out for this. Maybe I am meant to be a fat kid forever. But that is not what I want. I can look back at a recent post (this one!) and I remember why I am on this journey to begin with. 

Everyday is another small battle. Good days and bad days. I am not ready to wave the white flag in this war. I am a failure in progress. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow morning I will weigh-in to make up for today’s miss. No matter what the scale and measurements say, I will report them honestly. I can only improve by being honest with myself and with all of you.


4 thoughts on “Failures in Progrss

  1. Becky

    Never give up on yourself!! You are the only one who can make this journey have the outcome that you want so badly and deserve. Remember what you tell me on the days when I screw up–tomorrow is a new day! We can’t change years of habits in just a few short weeks/months. We WILL have our pitfalls and binges and general days where we don’t care, but what defines us is how we react after those days.

    You can do this! I wish you lived closer so we could be workout buds. 🙂 I could use the extra motivation!

  2. Shawna

    Girl, you are NOT a failure. You are just discouraged. I am also an emotional eater, as well as an impulsive eater. I’m putting something in my mouth before anything even registers with my brain that I’m doing so!

    We’re in this together, Sabrina. It’s a process. Some days will be good, and some will be bad. But let’s look at the big picture, KNOWING that we will win this battle and will NOT be fat kids forever!!!

  3. Catherine F.

    Hey beautiful one …. both the above comments are spot on. We can be just so hard on ourselves – often we would be far more gentle with a good friend who was saying the same things to us over a cup of coffee. But because it comes from within us, we think that it’s okay to beat ourselves up!

    Last night there were 2 chocolate honeycomb biscuits in the fridge left over from a morning tea with friends. Before I knew it I had gobbed down 2 and was reaching for the 3rd when I realised I wasn’t actually hungry. I put it down and that little victory meant a lot to me. Look for little opportunities to feel good about our choices rather than feel crap about the poor ones!

    I’m right here with you too ……


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