I know I don’t always follow through on exercise plans either. I don’t always have the drive and determination needed to stay on track. Often times I let myself down and I am a failure to myself. I begin to wonder if I am cut out for this. Maybe I am meant to be a fat kid forever. But that is not what I want. I can look back at a recent post (this one!) and I remember why I am on this journey to begin with.
Today is Wednesday. Which is supposed to be Weigh-In Wednesday. I completely forgot.
Or maybe it was a subconscious decision because I knew I would be displeased with what I saw. So I stepped on the scale a few moments ago, and sure enough, I didn’t like the results. My weight was up.
Subconsciously, I knew what a disaster I have been since last Friday night. Subconsciously, I knew I had under minded my previous weeks hard work. A weekend full of bad decisions preceded the last few days of more bad decisions. Subconsciously, I convinced myself that eating this or that would not hurt my progress. Once I get started, I am like a high speed train that is hard to stop.
This is a common trend with me. It’s why I am on this “road to recovery”. It’s also a big reason why I am trying to lose weight. Once I justify eating something, I honestly believe it’s okay. Looking back to last Friday I know my emotional trigger was the frustration I was feeling with running. That frustration resulted in poor eating over the weekend and it has spilled into this week that is almost half over. AH!
I know I have a problem. Looking back at posts like THIS helps me remember that I have a problem with food! It reminds me that this is hard, I am far from perfect, and I am an emotional eater.
Everyday is another small battle. Good days and bad days. I am not ready to wave the white flag in this war. I am a failure in progress. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow morning I will weigh-in to make up for today’s miss. No matter what the scale and measurements say, I will report them honestly. I can only improve by being honest with myself and with all of you.