Upside Down

This blog is not fun and cheer. My life is upside down and messed up right now, to say the least.

Between events that snowballed yesterday and a phone call today I decided it was time to do some self examining.

Have you ever spent time alone wondering how you got to where you are. Like really thought about it. Good or bad.

For me, it’s pretty bad. Defiantly not what I would have thought my life to be like. I do know that things can always be worse. But I am so much more than this, so much better. I feel like I am not giving myself 100%.

I could make a list of the good things I came up with during my soul searching. Or I could rundown a list of my short comings, but really, what will that accomplish? Make me feel worse and then probably drive me to some emotional eating or behavior.

I can not let myself fall into that place where I use food for comfort. I have to stay strong and find a way to work through what I am feeling without binging.

I need to focus and clean up the mess around me. Life around me is not something that I can always control. But I can control my weight and what goes into my body. I can control who I am and my own destiny. I need to set a new standard for myself, and work harder to become the woman I always strive to be.

My apologizes for turning this into dumping day. Tomorrow I will resume my regular blogging tendencies as this is not the blog I had intended to post. I actually wanted to share recent pictures, but I can do that another day. And I will do my weigh in tomorrow morning since I did not get home until mid afternoon today. 

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5 thoughts on “Upside Down

  1. Becky

    Self-evaluation is the most important step in improving our lives, as long as it is honest and true. That doesn’t mean harsh and painful, as I think the human tendency leans towards. I hope everything is okay and you get it all worked out. I’m thinking of you!

    Reply
  2. Sarah

    You are awesome for even admitting that you have bad days.. It’s easy for us to blog about the good stuff, and keep the bad stuff to ourselves.. and that’s not what these blogs are meant to be.. They are meant to be honest..

    I have been doing some of the same kind of self-reflection, and your entry sounds like something I would say.. actually, I think I may have.. but I get what you mean.. I never thought that I would be where I am at my age.. but the thing about all of it is that it’s not too late to change things..

    You are doing just that by losing weight! It’s one “little” thing on the list of “things” you can check off..

    Can’t wait to see those pictures.. 🙂

    Reply
  3. eenni meeni me

    oh yes I hear you. I eat too when I am upset and then wonder why I do as it wont make me feel better only probably worse mentally and physically…sigh…. feel free to vent as that what ‘journals’ are for! stopping by from the blog hop 🙂

    Reply

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