I have been sitting here for about an hour just starring at a blank compose page. I know what I am feeling, but I just don’t know how to write it.
So this post is for me to figure things out. For me to try to articulate and think my way through this battle.
Today I completed the 5th day of the 30 Day Shred, only 26 more to go. I certainly feel the burn, I feel accomplished, and I tend to be very productive afterwards. But that is where the battle begins.
For the last 24 hours all I want to do is indulge in food. Okay, maybe it’s more like OVER indulge. Last night, while I was watching Monday Night Football, I saw commercials for everything from pizza to BBQ ribs and pasta. Every food or restaurant crossed my mind, even if it was not show on TV. Right now, Oprah is on in the background. Martha Stewart is on with her, and they are making gourmet grilled cheese. Not good… well it is good… BUT IT’S NOT GOOD!!
Today I have been swaying between ordering pizza, take out Chinese, and desserts. I don’t want to order it because I know I will over indulge. A few weeks ago, at the end of the No Numbers Challenge, I BLOGGED about my struggle with food and how I use food. Since that blog, I would say that 90% of my days have been filled with good choices and healthy food.
Okay, so I have been working out pretty consistently for a while, and eating between 1200-1500 calories regularly. I would think that moving more and eating less would equate to weight loss. See that ticker up top? It’s been stuck at the same place for about two weeks. The scale has been reading 188 point something for two weeks.
I have made Wednesday’s my official weigh in day. When I am done writing this blog I am going to put together a spreadsheet to track not only my weight, but ALL my measurements. Within the next few weeks I hope to at least see the inches shed, even if the pounds aren’t shedding. I am also making a training calendar for my daily Shred activity as well as C25K training. I like charts, calendars and lists.
The lack of results cause me to doubt myself. And when I doubt myself I want to give up and ruin my progress. It makes me want to order a pizza, some chinese, and then make some brownies. I have to keep telling myself to fight the battle and not give it. The results will come.
This journey is anything but easy. But I guess that makes it worth fighting for.